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How to Know If Your Therapist Is Working for You

(by a counselling psychologist in Mumbai)

Starting therapy is a brave step. It often stirs up different emotions for different people. And while it is a brave, courageous step towards bettering your mental health, it can also feel very scary. One question quietly sits in the background for many adults:

“How do I know if this therapist is right for me?”

When starting therapy it is especially common to question this as many people are already emotionally overwhelmed, prone to overthinking, or carrying long-standing self-doubt by the time they reach a therapy space. Let’s say you’ve taken 2-3 sessions with a therapist, and you seem to be asking yourself whether you’re doing therapy right, or  whether you should “give it more time,” or whether your discomfort means something is wrong.

Let’s slow this down, and see what can be some signs of knowing if the therapist seems like a good fit for you.

Hi, thank you for being here. I’m Hartika, a counselling psychologist based in Mumbai, and in this blogpost I want to walk you through some signs that signal if you’ve found the therapist that works well with you.

signs your therapist is a good fit

Why Therapist Fit Matters More Than Technique

Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist called the “therapeutic alliance” is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes, often more than the techniques or modality used.

To make it simpler, you can have the “best” therapist on paper, but if you don’t feel safe, understood, or respected, progress can feel slow or blocked.

This doesn’t mean therapy should always feel comfortable as growth often brings in discomfort.
But there’s a difference between discomfort and feeling unseen, unheard or unsafe.

8 Signs Your Therapist Is A Good Fit

First things first, always check in with the qualifications of your therapist. In India, a minimum of Master’s in Psychology is a standard to practice as psychologists. Alright, once this checks, here are some ways clients often notice when the fit is right:

You Feel Understood And They Actually Listen To You

A therapist that fits you helps you make sense of your inner world, not just nod along or passively wait while you speak. A good therapist:
1) listens and understands your words, emotions, experiences and actions 
2) makes you feel validated by acknowledging what you tell them as the truth of your experiences.

Your therapist is open to answering questions

You feel comfortable asking:
1) “Why are we focusing on this?”
2) “How does this help?”
3) “Can we approach this differently?”
A therapist who welcomes questions supports autonomy and would never force you to do something you don’t want to. This includes making choices about how often you see them, if you’d like to pause for a while or switch over to another professional.

You Feel Emotionally Safe Even When It’s Causes Discomfort

Many times in therapy, you might feel nervous or vulnerable, but not judged or dismissed. One of the signs your therapist is a good fit is when you can express uncertainty, confusion, or even frustration and it’s met with curiosity, not correction or defensiveness. 

Open To Offering A Range Of Different Tools

Therapy includes enabling you to have a range of tools in your toolbox that can help you through difficult times. Therapy is challenging and painful, at times as it opens up different experiences that need work or healing. There’s no one-size fits all and your therapist is open to help you navigate which tool, technique, insight, or new skills works best for you.

The Pace Feels Right for You

You and your therapist are both on the same page regarding your treatment and goals. 
A good fit means:
1) You’re not being pushed when you don’t feel ready
2) You’re also not feeling stuck or lost without direction
3) Goals are revisited and adapted based on your circumstances often

You Notice Subtle Shifts Over Time

Change in therapy is often quiet and small in the start until it shows it’s ripple effects in more areas. You may notice:
1) Being able to catch when you’re overthinking
2) More aware and in touch with what you’re feeling
3) Quiet moments where your inner dialogue shifts to a kinder version
4) Being able to choose for yourself, even if in small ways
Progress in therapy doesn’t always mean feeling “better” immediately.  It often means feeling more real and closer to what you want to be.

Signs the Fit May Not Be Right 

Every individual experiences therapy differently from the same therapist. Since therapeutic alliance is one of the biggest factors for therapy to be helpful, the client-therapist fit becomes a very important factor to consider. Here are some signs worth paying attention to:

  • You consistently feel dismissed, judged, or misunderstood
  • You feel pressured to open up before you’re ready to address some concern
  • Your concerns are minimized or oversimplified
  • Sessions feel directionless without reflection or clarity
  • You’re afraid to share honest feedback

This doesn’t necessarily mean the therapist is “bad.” It means the fit may not be right for your needs.

How Long Should You Give It Before Deciding?

There’s no fixed rule, but many people get a sense within the first 3–5 sessions if the fit feels right. Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel more understood over time?
  • Is there growing trust, even if it’s slow?
  • Can I imagine feeling safe being honest here?

If the answer is consistently no, it may be worth exploring other options.

What to Do If You’re Unsure

  1. Share your concerns directly with your therapist
  2. Ask for clarification about the approach
  3. Request a change in pace or focus
  4. Seek a consultation with another therapist

Self-Reflection Prompts

You may want to sit with these gently:
1) Do I feel emotionally safe in my sessions?
2) Can I bring my full self into the room?
3) Am I growing in awareness, even slowly?
4) What would “feeling supported” actually look like for me?

Book Here

Therapy isn’t about fixing something. It’s about understanding you in a space where your emotions, words, experiences, actions are held with care and safety while gently challenging some unhelpful ways of being that might be pulling you down. This article by Healthline also shows how the right therapist feels like.

Therapy in Mumbai or Online

If you’re considering therapy or wondering whether the support you’re receiving truly fits, you deserve clarity. The right therapeutic relationship doesn’t make everything easy. It makes growth feel possible.

I offer both online therapy and in-person sessions in Mumbai for adults navigating:

  • Anxiety & Overthinking
  • Self-Esteem Issues
  • Emotional Regulation
  • Low Mood
  • Relationship Struggles

Wondering what happens in the first therapy session, then click here to learn more.